THE PAGAN FAMILY:
LEGAL RIGHTS
By: Ruthee
Turning the Wheel
http://www.turningthewheel.org/familyrights.htm
We have all heard it....the cries of a parent saying he or she is having a child taken away due to being Pagan. At the risk of making some people angry, I am going to lay a basic truth on the line: parents do not get their children taken away solely for being Pagans. PERIOD. Children are taken away for issues that are not related to being a Pagan....but issues that ARE related to the health, mental health or overall well-being of a child.
Over a decade ago, the Supreme Court ruled that religion is not a basis for pulling a child from a home: "Courts have repeatedly held that custody cannot be awarded solely on the basis of the parents' religious affiliations and that to do so violates the First Amendment to the United States Constitution." When attorneys attempt to bring up the religion issue in court, the judge often chastises the attorney for doing so. Courts will not get into a judicial battleground over religion for there are too many grey areas along with the ruling from the Supreme Court. If you have an ex that wants to try and pull that 'Pagan punch', the truth is that exs can try to bring it up as much as they would like....but really to no avail.
If you are a practicing Pagan,
whether you involve your children or not, you are subject to scrutiny. I am not
saying it is fair or right, it just is. The biggest rule of thumb is to live
your life as well and just as you can. Use your judgment on what you involve
your children in or what they see. Every child is different and can be affected
in ways you might not have thought of....so always always always
err on the side of caution.
Things that seem silly like good hygiene, clean houses, food in the fridges,
helping with homework and such are really NOT that silly. Yes, yes, they are
earmarks of a textbook good parent, but these are litmuses by which you could
potentially be judged, in the big picture. Be a June Cleaver Pagan....*smile*
These actions show that you are an interactive part of society and family....and
that is what the judges want to see and what an ex will have a hard time railing
against.
For example, I am a long-term manic depressive. I am very stable and have been for years -- going on a decade. Because I can prove that I am proactive in taking my meds and visiting a doctor, that I go to work every day, pay my bills, etc. -- my manic depression can not be used against me effectively. Now, conversely, if I didn't take my meds, had mood swings, no medical history to back up purchased prescriptions and visits to the doctor and a sketchy work history that would present a very different story.
If a custody battle comes up, you want to have a HISTORY of being a good, supportive and involved parent rather than scrambling to begin to establish one. Look at your life carefully as if through the eyes of a very judgmental old lady. Then make true lifestyle adjustments accordingly.
Meet with other Pagans in town to establish a good support system -- which in turn can be a good support system in the unfortunate event of any legal battles -- in the sense of character witnesses, witnesses to what actually goes on at ritual or gatherings, etc., witnesses to your character as a parent teaching a child about spirituality.
Learn to find a middle ground with ex-spouses and partners regarding religion. For example, my ex is a practicing Christian. I support him taking our daughter to Church, help her to understand things she has learned at Church and make no bones about his right to give her religious background in his faith. I also waited until she was of an age that I felt she could understand some basics of MY faith -- so as not to confuse her and cause any internal conflict or issue. What she is exposed to are things that she can handle....group gatherings that are child and family oriented, planned group picnics, rituals that are simply giving thanks for the seasonal changes, and learning about the seasons and the Wheel of the Year. Sounds pretty sinister, huh?
Use caution if you have a really bad relationship with an ex. Keep everything above board. There will be plenty of time to include your children in your religion when they are older. It would be more harmful to include your children or practice openly in-front of them if it could potentially cause a court battle and custody issues. Cherish your family enough to keep it safe.
Most of all, realize that you *can* help your ex understand your faith with some kindness, good information and patience, IF he or she is open to it. Not all are, but it doesn't hurt to try.
I am not saying that a parent who is faced with a frivolous custody battle will not have to go to court. You might have to. You might have to hire an attorney. If you have a normal life and are a good part of society, being a Pagan will be laughed out of court, once the proceedings get going.
There are plenty of sources to help a motivated person in dealing with a custody battle regarding a child....but it is really about you doing the legwork and research. Don't be taken in by threats. They are nothing but words. Do not let anyone tell you that practicing a Goddess-oriented, nature-oriented religion is wrong. Stand tall and strong. Be confident because the law IS on your side, make no mistakes about it.
This page is meant to be a mix of practical information such as the case law and some insights that I have gathered through my research and life experiences. I don't mean to come off preachy....I am trying to get people to think about their choices. For many single parents, a custody battle is only one pissed off person away, really. Keep that in mind, arm yourself with education, sock away some money for an attorney or a rainy day and you should be ok.
NOTE: If you are a parent who contends that you have had your child taken away solely (and I do mean SOLELY) because you are a Pagan, I would love to see the case law and the transcripts. Feel free to contact me with that information. Such a travesty of the 1st Amendment should be noted in a higher court, provided that is what the transcripts and case law states.
LINKS:
Legal Smarts for Pagan Parents
The Legal Rights of Wiccans and Pagans, Part II
A Conversation with Phyllis Curott (great on debunking misinformation as well as some legal stuff)
Alternative Religions Education Network
Pagan Religious Liberties Lawyers
CASE LAW:
Because I work at a law firm, I am going to be looking up the actual case laws on this issue and will be posting as much on that issue as I can. I want to give Pagan parents as much information as I can to allow them to get a comfort level with the reality of Pagan parenting and custody battles.
STATE STATUTES:
Research what your own state statutes are regarding child custody, religion and
what the state government grants regarding those issues. Use google and a
search string like "your state state statutes family law". You may have to wade
through a bunch of crap and if you have problems finding your state's family law
& child custody statutes,
let me know.
There is NO mention of how the courts view issues of religion in the Florida State Statutes regarding custody, in sections 61.10, 61.12, 61.13 and 61.20 which means that the courts in Florida as a whole will not touch the religion issue -- as it is such a hot potato. OR it means that some liberty is left up to the judges who preside. This is a 'uniform' law in the state of Florida and that pretty much speaks for itself.
A full copy of the Statutes can be found HERE.
What the statutes do indicate overall is that the overall well-being of the parent, the ability of the parent to maintain an income and support the child, provide consistency and such is what the court really looks at, so as I said before....remain above board at all times.
WASHINGTON:
In Munoz v. Munoz, 79 Wash. 2d 810, 489 P.2d 1133 (1971), the state of
Washington's highest court ruled that exposing children to two different
religions is not harmful in and of itself, and therefore does not justify
restricting a parent's religious activities.
PENNSYLVANIA:
Parents who share joint legal custody of children are often in a better position
to convince courts to honor the wishes of both parents. A case in point: In
Zummo v. Zummo, 394 Pa. Super. 30, 574 A.2d 1130 (1990), the divorcing couple's
dispute about the religious upbringing of their children was resolved by
ordering the father to take the children to Jewish services (the mother's
religion) and also allowing him to bring the children to Catholic services (his
religion). The court believed that because the couple shared joint legal
custody, they each had the right to instill religious beliefs in their kids.
FLORIDA:
A dissolution court may not prohibit a noncustodial parent from exposing her
children to her church's religious practices, unless there is a clear,
affirmative showing that these religious activities will be harmful to the
child. Allowing a court to choose one parent's religious beliefs and practices
over another's would violate the first amendment. Mesa v. Mesa, 21 Fam. L. Rep.
(BNA) 1280 (Fla. Dist. Ct. App. 1995).
MASSACHUSETTS:
In Kendall v. Kendall, 426 Mass. 238, 687 N.E.2d 1228 (1997), the highest court
in Massachusetts ruled that a father's verbal threats and physical acts toward
his children, which were designed to interfere with their Jewish religious
practices, were enough to warrant restrictions on his First Amendment and
parenting rights. (NOTE: this is a PRIME example on why to keep records if the
discussions get ugly and to ALWAYS remain polite on your end.)
Important Note: DAPN does not offer legal advice nor are we qualified
to do so. This document does not constitute legal advice but is intended to be
used in conjunction with the legal services of an attorney licensed to practice
in your state. This document can be copied and distributed to your lawyer should
you decide that you need the services of one.